I see what you're saying but My situation is a little different. I still think my wife feels trapped but her A was never realistic. I don't think she accepted that until recently but she still was randomly seeking out comfort from this clown. When she BD she said she was in love and I couldn't love her like him.
She is naturally super stubborn and I think she is holding out on forgiving me because she looks at that like she was in the wrong.

I'm def not trying to figure her out anymore. I'm just doing what I can, definitely GAL, validating, and 180s

Me: 32 Her: 29
M: 5 T: 11
D2
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me)
W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15
Papers served 6-3-15
Temporary Order 7-15-15
W Moved out 7-17-15