We are over, now what?

[Smothy]

Tulo, don't give them this power to hurt you. I have been through something similar. They reached out to each other over FB as friends then an EA developed, was told by H she is someone he can talk too. Just friends, no designs on each other. She reached out for him when she was in hospital as opposed to all her other friends and H said it was NOTHING!!!

She is the one he is now seeing as friends and definitely not dating, the lies they tell you. Sorry to sound so bitter!

[Tulo]

Tulo -
I'm with you. This process [censored].

All of us here have two choices - fight for our R or give up and walk away.

So the fight is for my M. But it's also for me.

Hi Matt,

Thanks for checking in!

Yep, and I can't walk away yet.. Maybe I will at some stage but I really want to try and save this if possible. I found DB online today and ordered it. I have read it before but want to read it again, if only to learn for next R.

I hope to become stronger in myself so that I can handle stuff like this better in future.
Today has been so hard.

H sent text today in the afternoon. Asking if I feel in good form for my upcoming run.. He had sent a picture of his result at the same race along in the message. I was so surprised but waited a few hours and just wrote back that I think I'm in good form but that I won't be able to beat his time. He sent back that he was sure that I could and we sent a few more back and forth and then I said that I was going to watch a movie =ending out texting.

Was that ok guys? Or should I have not answered at all? I didn't ask anything about him, and I was the one who said goodbye.. Haha, for me that's big stuff!

Ok, have to start cleaning my house. Raining outside and dog paws doesn't really do much for my decor.

Hugs to you Matt! Thanks for stopping by!

[Tulo]

Tulo, don't give them this power to hurt you.

Sorry to sound so bitter!

Dear Smothy!

You don't ever need say sorry for anything.. I totally understand how you must feel in regards to this!

I will work really hard to not let them/ him hurt me anymore. I don't like giving them this power and I really need to take it back!!

Time will tell if they get together, I can't help but to hope they don't but if they do, the he'll with them!! I want a man who is true to me! And in that case he was anything but!

Big hug!!

[Wonka]

Tulo,

Sorry to hijack your thread..but I need to say something to Zeus.

HOWEVER...at this point you get no voice in his behavior. You don't control him. If he wants to have an orgy with his entire 9th grade girls marching band there is not one thing you can do to change that.

Oh yes...Tulo would have done something about that ^^. That would be statutory rape. You just had to say '9th grade girls' here, Zeus??!! Dumb, dumb choice of words.

[Zelda09]

Hi Tulo,

Stopping bye say hello.
Idk where you decided to settle on the friends matter, but I strongly believe:

A) in any break up one person cares more than the other. This is usually the person content to eat the friend crumb. It's a miserable friendship, years of trying to read more into things and jumping when your buddy says jump.

B) IF there is a chance for friendship, it must be after a significant period of NC and space to readjust. So that it might be a healthy one.

Good luck on your half marathon. Rise above all the rest, know your worth.

[Tulo]

It's a miserable friendship, years of trying to read more into things and jumping when your buddy says jump.

Good luck on your half marathon. Rise above all the rest, know your worth.

Hi Zelda,

Thanks for checking in..

Well, I woke up this morning and felt like a little bee angry as hell. Seems so easy for him, and here am I being the nice little friend when he wants to deem me worthy of a text.

I can't seem to trust my own judgement when it comes to men. Because I really thought that he was one who wouldn't just walk up and leave at first sign of bad times and to me that is what he's done. Punished myself by going through our old texts and it's not long ago he wrote how much he missed me, wanting to be with me and so on. And now, over and out.

I have decided to focus on my run, have a bit of an issue with a sore foot but hope it will sort itself out by Saturday. I am going to get through it if so on my hands and knees, and this mess isn't going to hold me back.

Will not contact him about race, if he contacts me I will reply friendly but that it!

Hope you have a great day! Thanks for stopping by!
Hug!

[Pyrite]

yeah but Wonka, they're grown up to now - they were all in 9th grade together

[Huddy]

Hi Tulo

I don't think the text conversation was a bad idea as long as you didn't put kisses on or said you missed him etc. He made contact. That's good, but remember not to get excited or jump back in. You need more from him.

[Pyrite]

Hey Tulo, gotcha

KILL the FB.

And the other shoe drops .... Surely sound s like an EA to me as Zeus said.

i wouldn't be equating hoping for the R with being the best Tulo you can be. Zeus and I have had many manny discussions about this. My last post on my thread ends this way too.

As I picked up a while back and has stuck in my head (think it might've been Toots). Someone chatting with a friend after a year or so and still single: friend commented "I dont know why you are still waiting for him". SHE replied "... I am open to reconcilliation. I am not not waiting".

NOT letting go of hope is just substituting. "OH yes - i have let go of R - but I still hope it works out" ;

Your SHARED past happened and ended. YOUR future is in YOUR hands.
There is no SHARED future that is in YOUR hands. In the present DETACH. Like Cadet's welcome.

You cannot detach and cling to a version of the future.

((((Tulo)))) - i know this is bad. just watch me flip around like a fish out of water.

[Pyrite]

Morning Tulo - by hey gotcha i mean i found you on your new thread.