To add to this, there are two outcomes of snooping: - you find something. But you already knew something was going on. So all you've done is cause pain to yourself. - you find nothing. But was it nothing or was there something and it got deleted? Or did you just not look in the right place? Ultimately, it's a rabbit hole that leads nowhere. Either way, you certainly haven't added trust.
So, what have you gained by snooping? Either a bunch of pain or nothing. So why bother?
Someone told me to just imagine your W is having the dirtiest sex you can. Then decide if you can still R. If that answer is "Yes" then there's no reason to ever snoop again.
I've actually quit my snooping (except for one little thing yesterday). W had sent me all the travel arrangements for her work trip about a month ago. It was the trip out of the country and the arrangements had everyone's name and location. I was cleaning out my dropbox yesterday and came across them. I found the guy that flew out of NY and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I had heard her talk about this guy before and it all just lined up in my head.
I think I'm to the point of ending it. I'm not going to make any rash decisions, but at this point I can't see us R. We don't have any kids. No property is owned together. All separate finances. It would be very easy for me logistically to walk away.
I feel like I need to re-read the DB books... I'm letting myself get too caught up in her again.
M30 W30 Married: 1 year Together: 4 years No kids 3 Dogs
