I put some clues together and figured out who my W is having her A with. It wasn't too hard once all the pieces lined up. Knowing what I know now, I know that it's been going on for at least 2 months and is still going on.
I assumed all of this already, but actually knowing... it's making it hard. I feel like I'm ready to tell her to GTFO and file for D myself. I just don't know how I could ever go back to looking at her the same way.
At the same time I ask myself, what does this really change? Nothing really... I already assumed everything I now know and I still wanted the marriage to work.
I don't know. I know I'm rambling. I didn't sleep at all last night. Probably one of the hardest nights I've had since it all happened.
Hi Archer, hope you don't mind me dropping by.
When my WW bd'ed I knew right away there was an A and who it was with. I had suspected for a long time there was something going on but I just couldn't believe she would do that to me. But she did and here we are. Knowing doesn't make a blind bit of difference except the temptation to snoop and contact the OM goes through the roof. Do neither.
Peace
To add to this, there are two outcomes of snooping: - you find something. But you already knew something was going on. So all you've done is cause pain to yourself. - you find nothing. But was it nothing or was there something and it got deleted? Or did you just not look in the right place? Ultimately, it's a rabbit hole that leads nowhere. Either way, you certainly haven't added trust.
So, what have you gained by snooping? Either a bunch of pain or nothing. So why bother?
Someone told me to just imagine your W is having the dirtiest sex you can. Then decide if you can still R. If that answer is "Yes" then there's no reason to ever snoop again.
