I guess I am mad at myself and at H. I am mad at myself that I have believed in the dream of being a family and that he wanted the same thing. I'm mad at him for misrepresenting his desires to me and being emotionally unavailable. This journey has made me realize that he is emotionally unavailable for himself.
It has been a tough few week - this week was our 19yr wedding anniversary. All H could say was "I'm sorry I'm putting you threw this". On Friday night we were robbed. They knew what they wanted and took the girls riding stuff. Not only was it a big financial loss, it was also very personal feeling as it was my children's stuff. Trying to sell one of our long time ponies - so many great memories with him/daughter. She has a room of ribbons & trophies. I am also trying to get curtains finished to get house on market by June 1 to be sold. And this week all 3 kids are showing signs of stress.
I'm mad that I would like a partner to share life's challenges and accomplishments but I chose the wrong person and it has taken me 19 years to realize it!
Last edited by dejavu2; 05/21/1504:53 AM.
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
