So yes, I am being -ve. The only way I can deal with it more productively is too pull back and focus on what I have, and maybe even what I have gained. Minimising the -ves hasn't worked, hating my W has been even less effective. I lost my W a longtime ago. Apart from losing my M the annoying **** now is not coming from my W, and is not really even being directed AT me. So I am trying to ignore it. I could be even more -ve and say that there is nothing I want to learn from it. It is not humility that can be learned, or any other +ve attrbute, it is "how to be a door mat".
My DB coach told me of a woman yesterday that was going through a terrible treatment for a disease, and was in the hospital in a lot of pain for weeks on end. She was visited by her priest, and at one point he asked her "how would you like me to pray for you?" She very wisely replied "Pray that I don't allow my suffering to go to waste."
Coach told me that we all suffer, and that praying for an end of suffering would be pointless, and the best we can hope to do is gain from our experience. I can tell you're trying to do just that. Clearly it is a terrible storm, so I hope you are open to any and all good things that come from it.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
