This is my first post in a forum I never thought I would be a part of. I've read the Divorce Remedy book, along with some other self-help books, and am seeing a counselor (on my own) once a week. How did I get here?
About a month ago, my wife of almost 5 years admitted to an EA (which she claims has never been physical) with a co-worker at her new job. We have a 2 year old daughter, and I'm crushed. I didn't snoop of spy, I just "knew" something had been wrong for about a month, and one night I just asked her "are you seeing someone else?". She admitted "yes".
At that time, I of course had not read any books on divorce, or relationships, or how to behave, so I immediately went into full rant mode (I don't yell, ever). I suppose I'm the perfect doormat, sniveling, bawling man when it comes to these things.
Anyway, my wife says she loves me but isn't in love with me. She syas new guy is perfect for her, she's madly in love with him, and needs time to think. She doesn't know if she wants to save our marriage or not, and can't call it off with the new guy because they work together. She "knows" that she's doing is wrong, that it hurts me, that it will shatter our family, and hurt our daughter. The only thing she can say about all that is "I know".
I should also add that new guy is 47y/o, married, with son 21y/o and daughter 18y/o.
I've been trying to implement the db techniques, commit to counseling, and GAL, but I fall back into old habits, and have to "reset". Tonight after stupidly bringing up OM and talking about our R, I learned that last night, she was talking to OM on her phone with our daughter present and she even let her say hello to him. Granted, she's 2, but its infuriating.
More later with questions to come. All support is welcome. Thanks!
