AHW - I think you know what I am going to say (the same thing I've been saying to you).
But first of all, let me say that I know it's much easier for me to say these things in my position simply reading about them, then it is for you, who has been married to this man for 22 years, to hear them.
What exactly are you trying to save here? You haven't written anything that indicates that this marriage is worth saving. This doesn't appear to be a crisis or an anomaly for your husband - he's been treating you badly for many, many years.
Sometimes, I think its hard to see just how crazy a situation has gotten when we are in the middle of it - but AHW - this is just plain crazy. Stop letting him force his gross OW (who sounds b** s*** crazy, by the way) and other life on you.
I can't really think of anything he could say or do at this point that would make things better, but regardless, he's not going to change his ways without a firm stance by you.
Take your power AHW. You are worth more than this. Your children deserve better than this.
