So my story keeps getting more and more bizarre and, and if possible, even sadder. Have been to 2 lawyers who were both wonderful. I have a firm grasp on what I need to do and how. Now I just need to gather my courage and start the process. A few more steps to take but mostly just need a little time. Everything has happened too fast. Filing for divorce is a little like having to cut off your own leg to save yourself.
Yesterday I got an email from OW telling me she knows I wish she would just disappear but that isn't likely to happen now. It was very long winded and manipulative but telling me that maybe we could all get together and "collaborate" on how to make our situation more manageable. She recognizes he has poor time management skills and difficulty "balancing his in-the-moment wants versus his ongoing responsibilities". Neither of us want him to be in the middle but he chose to "put himself in the middle when he sought and began a relationship with her whilst married to, living with and raising children" with me. She cares very deeply for my H and believes that I do too and she feels badly and thinks it is unnecessarily stressful for me when "he neglects specific obligations or otherwise doesn't communicate effectively and/or completely with me regarding his time with her". "Perhaps we can work together to minimize the negative impact his choice to be in significant, simultaneous relationships with you and me has on his responsibilities as a father". She wanted to see if I want to talk. It's nit her goal to be friends (because of that whole reality thing) etc
I wanted to fire off a two word reply starting with "F" but I ignored the message. When my H came home he said "I understand she sent you a really nice email" He totally did not get why I was livid. And he agreed with her that her going away is "not going to happen!"
Than this afternoon I received another email with the subject "you win"
...by default , cancer takes all Congratulations
I have no idea what that means except that maybe her cancer is more serious and somehow it is my fault. Doesn't change anything for me. My husband still has issues, chose another woman over me and she may die a martyr. Not really a win for me. He called me to ask why I wasn't home when he got there and I said I didn't know he was coming home. He said a few snippy things and when I said I don't want to argue he said " I'm not going to argue with you. I will never let you goad me into an argument again" . I just said sounds like maybe now isn't a good time for us to talk. He came home hasn't had much to say, does appear somewhat sad and is playing some John Denver love song which I assume she sent him
Just all a little more than I can take. Any advice
