""Events" triggered my XW's MLC. Her MLC or "event" triggered something in me."
It triggered your own MLC. I don't know if you realize it, but you've been in your own "crisis" for a long time.
"You are right MrBond. I still do resent her. I need to let go of that, but it is so damn hard. And....I know in my heart that forgiveness is the only way, but I'm still far from that. To me, forgiveness comes off as saying "Hey, no biggie. It's ok."
That's not what it means. For you, though, you're still wanting for her to suffer. To burn in h*ll. To suffer some agonizing, painful trauma that equals to what you believe you felt. Problem is that if she were to suffer something that bad, would you really be proud of it in the end? If she were paralyzed in a wheelchair, would you be dancing around her, pointing your finger and her and laughing? Would you be celebrating the fact that it's something that she 'deserved?
"My biggest fear right now is being alone. My boys will be marrying someone someday and have their own lives. Me? Where will I be?"
Alone. You got that right.
You will be alone unless you do something about it. You can't see it because you haven't taken the steps to do something about it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
