Just now that we were thinking to get that wonderful T-shirt for the fan club "I agree with Toots", then it is revealed that we do no agree in all her comments.
Toots, just another example on how human beings as complicated and so well wired to be different.
Sometimes, I see a kind of sitch like yours and I think that it is so cool that you have the chance to do so much stuff on your on and do not worry about being there and being responsible for other young lives.
I feel that it gives you a better chance to improve yourself faster and even take your own decision as you want to. But yet, you see that having the kids can give you some leverage.
I have been married for 18 years and change now. It counts, but I am not sure in which way. I can see that we built more history together but I can also see that I wasted more time believing in someone that left me to be with another person. The wound is basically the same, no matter the time. What matters really is how much love was in there and is left inside us.
My kids are asking me over and over for me to just let go and do not sick any reconciliation with their father. It brakes my heart to hear all their reasons on why they do not want to have him back. So just for having the kids, I have been questioning myself if I stand for my M or just let go for good.
I think the point is that Divorce is a very difficult time in anyone's life. That's why it is compared to death and has the whole death consequences too, we hurt, feel super sad, need to forget and forgive, need to keep going one day at a time, in one single day you fell good, feel bad, cry and laugh, we get depressed, anxious, we just want to disappear and sometimes we force ourselves to move forward, to meet people, work, get better at something. WE GRIEVE...
The fact that you feel this way is pretty much that right now there is a lot of salt being poured into the wound and it's hurting. Once it's all done, then you will be able to deal with the pain, not just stand for the torture.
I feel for you, and for us all. We have been changing and it's also the reason for so much doubt now. We can see a little more clear that it was not all our fault and there were so many things that we did not like so much.
We start having doubts if a reconciliation would be the best choice because we learned that a R must be nurtured. cultivated and we are not sure if the other side of the orange would engage into learning this or they would be just the same as before, and then we risk to go through the pain another round.
Please, do not think your M is less important and has less weight then other people's M. It's the LOVE connection that counts.
I know it is difficult, I feel that I have an angry dragon inside of me, burning and hurting every single piece of my body. I feel like I would like to take this thing out of me and feel good again. Right now, we need to get ourselves through it, and there is no other option besides doing it.
I hope you will be kind with yourself because you will need. We will always be here for you. I also understand that sometimes it feel very empty, but I am thankful I can share my pain with someone like you. We learned to love you Toots, and you can be sure we think about you every day, many times a day.
Lots of hugs for you today. (((((((((((Toots)))))))))))
