I think I belong in Piecing...

[Painter]

I would like to encourage you to post in Newcomers for a while, so you will get more replies. Something led you here to the board, didn't it?

I was the betrayer in my M. I tried to do what your H said about not contacting OW, yet won't send the letter. Without that final letter that states it is over forever, then he is leaving the back door open.......

If you don't feel you can push it right now, that's your decision, but I am concerned the MC's implications and your acceptance is causing him to feel he can play both sides of the fence. There's still something there he is not turning loose.

How about giving us more background, and stick around?

Hi Sandi,

Thank you for replying and sharing your experience. The MC said to H that she hoped he would get to the point where he would be willing to send the letter. I think she wanted to give him time to come out of the fog a little first? I understand what you're saying about keeping the back door open, I'm hoping that when there's a little more distance to the A and if there's a little more optimism in regards to our M, he will do it. I don't want to push him to do it against his will, because so much of the problem has been his inability to stand up for himself and express his needs. I will express it as a wish at some point - something I need him to do - and hope that he will choose to do it.

I have been posting in Newcomers for a few weeks, I joined the board in April, I think. It was our MC who told me to get on here. I don't know if our situation fits neatly into any specific category... We have both committed to work on the marriage with the MC, but we both know we may not succeed in reaching our goal. H is doing it in spite of his wishes - he really just wants to be alone, but he feels an obligation to attempt to salvage our M. Like you say here, I have the gift of time and I'm trying to use it wisely.

I'm really sort of uncomfortable posting in a public board that anyone on the internet can read (including H), and keep wondering if I should ask to have my posts and profile deleted... I ran a support board for stepfamilies for almost a decade, but all forums except one was closed for non-members.