We are over, now what?

[Zues126]

Non-DB related...but I don't like FB. I'm not on it. I've seen too much of this. And I've seen too many people surfing face book posts on the couch while their spouse is having a disconnected conversation with them. I can already tell you my next partner will know how to shut their phone off at meals, during conversations...and won't be addicted to FB. OK, personal pet peeve.

As for this, I do think it's a big deal, but agree not to bring it up.

H has a one night stand with a female and essentially agrees to break it off. Now they're talking. Violation one. They're talking about the breakdown of an M. Discussing relationship details with opposite sex, violation two. And doing one and two with no regard to Tulo's feelings and allowing her no say, violation three. So Tulo, you're NOT crazy for feeling this way. It is quite simply a betrayal, and at this point whether they get physical is just semantics.

HOWEVER...at this point you get no voice in his behavior. You don't control him. If he wants to have an orgy with his entire 9th grade girls marching band there is not one thing you can do to change that. Even if he acts like he in some small way cares what you think, the fastest way to lose that is by trying to leverage it into control.

Oh, and how weak does that sound? It would be like if my W told me "H, I don't care at all about how you feel, you're not the man OM is" and I replied "stop, you're hurting my feelings, please don't"...just pathetic. Just detach, GAL, and leave him with his homewrecking tramp (sorry, did that slip out? I let it go now...)

The answer isn't rage- although that's a reasonable reaction. But as you work through your emotions you'll see that he doesn't deserve that much power over your head either. Bottom line, he's acting like a 3 year old. What do you do when a three year old throws a fit? You shrug and say "I'm going to do something else until they scream themselves out". That's all there is to do.