Advice Welcome, separating and W moving out soon..

[jedi]

Fogg, Zues, thanks for chiming in.

I wholeheartedly agree that once she’s moved out I will enter a new phase in this process.

I think I'm starting to grasp these things like she's leaving so details of how that happens logistically aren't my problem, or that I'm not here to be her friend while she leaves me behind. But what I don’t get is how to stop caring and WANTING to be that way. She was, after all, wife second to being my best friend, and I can’t necessarily fault her right now for what she’s doing. I'm finding I don't miss my W so much as I miss my friend.

I think this is a timing thing for me at this point. I hear you both, I just don’t feel it yet. I wish i did, but I’m just not there yet.

My DB coach asked me today ‘is she leaning towards you or away from you?’. Right now she’s still moving out, so she’s definitely leaning away from me. However, IMO she doesn’t seem to be leaning as far away right now as she was 5 weeks ago.

It seems to me that if I were further along into DB’ing that leaning less away from me than she was previously could be considered a positive sign, but since I’m only a 6 weeks into BD that’s not supposed to have any meaning for me right now. And this is where I get very confused and is also most likely why i am painting the picture of this the way I am.

I understand to some degree how a small positive should not be given at lot of weight right now (how’s it go, believe nothing they say and 50% what they do?). Let's say I truly begin practicing this concept right this minute. What I have yet to comprehend is at what point does what they say and what they do become allowed to be taken in fully and believed as true emotion? Once I start believing nothing they say, how do I decide to again believe them?

I hope my posts don’t come off as obtuse or argumentative in any way, as I don’t mean to at all. I truly appreciate what is being posted back to me as it helps me feel less alone throughout all of this, and I know I have things to learn while I’m here. I trust what is being said to me and I’m trying to wrap my head around these things, it’s just not clicking for me yet.