This is tougher than I imagined..

[Painter]

Oh, I read a really interesting article about how our memories and feelings function.

The premise is that our thoughts and perceptions create our feelings, which in turn creates memories. Strong feelings create strong memories (Where were you on 9/11? Most people remember this in great detail.)

A thought that triggers a memory that has an emotional attachment will cause a physical/chemical reaction in the body. Think about being traumatized - you see or hear something that reminds you of the traumatic experience, a car of the same type or color as the one who hit you, a person who reminds you of an attacker, a gun - and boom - adrenalin is released, causing your heart to start racing, palms sweating, your legs shake, your breath gets fast, etc. Or you see someone who looks like your beloved grandfather, and feel a surge of warmth, love, comfort, joy. Another chemical reaction.

The point of this article - which was about overcoming an affair - was that we have 90-120 seconds from when we see or think about something emotional until the chemical reaction starts. It is supposedly possible to consciously interrupt the process and replace the thought with another thought, in order to change the chemical reaction and subsequent emotional experience/reinforcement.

In our case, it would be to look at H, have a thought about OW, but quickly replace the thought with a positive thought - a memory that places H in a positive context. This should, according to the author, change the outcome, and if you do it repeatedly, it can become automatic.

I find this kind of stuff fascinating!