Advice Welcome, separating and W moving out soon..

[jedi]

Scratch the last post. Just as the the 48 hour NC mark was approaching, W initiated and we had a relatively lengthy txt convo about the move this Friday. She basically said "Its not that I dont want you there, but I think to not cause you any more pain it's best that I do this alone".

I agreed with her stance, and told her I'd leave the house so she could do her thing. She said I didn't have to leave, that I could just go out back or something, but I told her I would have a hard time not helping if I was in the house. I then followed up with I know she is capable of doing this on her own and that i was trying hard to stop pushing my help towards her when I know full well she has it under control. While that's a 180 (not trying to help or fix something for a change), I dont like that i had to spell it out like that. Show, not talk about changes right? Or, maybe given my specific situation, that is the best way right now to show I'm growing cognizant of what i need to work on changing. Who knows...

Either way, the reminder of the convo was light-hearted, and I did ask for some pointers from her in regards to how her IC came about and just the basic process she went through. She seems happy with hers, and for some reason my initial look into it today left me feeling unsatisfied. She said she was happy to discuss this with me, and mentioned over lunch perhaps. As an added bonus, she ended with 'goodnight'. This is a first since BD, so I think it's a small win.

Funny, while this again could be considered a 180 for me (asking for her help/opinion), I'm finding myself to genuinely value her input on this. She can enlighten me here, and it feels good to think I'm breaking my own walls down since that's the end goal of this right? Better myself no matter what happens?

The problem here is this all makes me fall back into my standard feelings of this being temporary. I really need to learn to detach, but it's hard when I see what I think are positive signs knowing others are just seeing cake eating and such that I'm blinded to.

I'm sure next week once she's fully moved out and we go days without contact I'll be eating my words here.