Picked my kids up tonight. My D4 says something about how she saw ____ today. Some guy I don't know. S10 says "he's mom's friend! He's really funny!"
15 seconds. That's about how long it lasted. It started with this momentary flashback to how I felt at BD, like "OMG, my M is dead!" And then I was like "oh yeah, I already knew that, lol." And within the next minute I was totally fine.
I no longer feel rejected. It reminds me of my job. I'm in sales. Today I had a customer that was just a ball buster nit picking everything, completely suspicious of everything I said, just impatient and hostile, acting like I was trying to screw her over. I was professional, but essentially said that's not how I do business. If she wanted my service and was able to extend a basic level of trust and courtesy I'd be happy to work with her, if not I'm sure there are plenty of companies hungry enough for business to give her a dog and pony show and let her beat them up. But I provide a valuable service, and as a result have plenty of customers that like working with me. So I'm not going to cheapen myself.
That's kind of how I feel. There are obviously a ton of people that think ending marriages is ok, or that getting involved with married people is ok. I'm not even judgmental of those folks. I just feel differently and wish them the best. And I am starting to recognize my value. The same way I don't take offense that a customer is suspicious of me, I am not really offended that a fair weather marriage partner decided I wasn't good enough.
Just a funny realization that I'll have many flash backs and moments of PTSD, but I'm no longer getting shot at
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
