Card29 XI - Journey

[Card29]

I've honestly been really stressed out the last few days. I haven't had a day to take care of my own personal stuff in a few weeks. Some of the plans have been really fun, but there have always been plans. I take the blame for not blocking off time to do my stuff.

Also, I'm living with a European and trying to conform to his habits, like A/C. I live in the Ohio Valley (humid, hot) and we've had the A/C on for maybe an hour all year so far. I did purchase an awesome fan, which I carry around the apt like an oxygen tank. Until very recently I've been totally fine with the arrangement. It's just been a little annoying to deal with since I've had a bunch of extra stress piled on me the last week or so. When you're extremely stressed, the last thing you want to do is walk into your home at night and break out in a muggy sweat.

So STBX has officially moved into that house a couple of blocks from me. I'm not okay with the proximity. It really will be convenient, she's not the intrusive type, and we're getting along okay (for the most part...). But we had an issue today. I've mentioned on here that she has been very flimsy with the schedule lately. When I thought more about it, last summer/fall, we never ever changed the schedule except for work-related obligations, or events that were planned at least a few days, if not weeks, ahead of time. But since the turn of the new year, she has changed plans so much that I no longer trust the schedule even a few days out.

I mentioned it to her a couple of weeks ago, that when we go to populate the schedule further (I think it's "booked" until July), we need to go to 1-week rotations and we need to try to stick to the schedule. Then she's been going through all of this chaos from her break up, and then moving, so there were a TON of changes the last couple of weeks. I let it all go and went with it. Not trying to berate her in the middle of her crisis. It just didn't seem productive. So I've had D2 and the dog for most of the last couple of weeks, and I've just had so many problems and wanted a day off.

Today was finally STBX's day to get her. But I saw her name on the calendar and just doubted it somehow. Somehow I knew it wasn't going to happen, at least very smoothly. I even texted her earlier today "What's the plant tonight?", to which she didn't respond. Finally, this text convo happened. Let me know what you guys think. I don't think I handled it perfectly. Keep in mind, she is still kind of moving, I guess, although most of her stuff is at her new place. She's had painters, etc. over to the new rental house all weekend and even today.

STBX: Is there any way you can pick her up? I don't have a carseat.

Me: I will get her today. I know you're in the middle of moving but we have to be more stable with the schedule, especially with last second changes for reasons like this

STBX: Just forget it then
STBX: There's no reason to be rude

Me: I'm not being rude, I'm being honest

STBX: You're being condescending
STBX: Just forget it, I'll figure it out.

ME: Ok

*4 minutes elapse*

STBX: I don't understand you
STBX: You've been calling me asking for help. Would you say this if I had been able to help you?

Me: You're right. But i was asking for a break and I was already at your house. [I didn't say this, but it was also her originally scheduled day to have D2]. I always try to pick her up when I'm supposed to. I responded because I was already doubting that it was going to go as schedueld today. That's why I asked what the plan was earlier.

Me: And I guess it's already a sore spot with me because you have almost never fulfilled what you've promised about (dog). I'm fine having her but it's the change of plans that always happens that I don't want to continue forever

Me: I don't mind being flexible, but I also want to be able to trust the schedule like I could last fall. I haven't trusted it since early this year. Like if we have trips or events we want to rearrange the schedule around, that's fine. But changes like this never happened summer/fall 2014 and have happened so much in 2015 that I'm responding like this. Maybe I didn't respond in the most elegant or graceful way. I'm just trying to be honest

STBX: Like I said, whatever. I'll go find a car seat and bring our kid home to a construction site. I'll figure it out

Me: If your house is a construction site, why didn't you say something sooner? I can pick her up



...

And it got more mundane after that.