Barb, If your daughter thinks that she is drinking too much, then she is. You know yourself, that many alcoholics don't think that they are alcoholics until they've lost everything. Ashley has her whole life ahead of her and she needs gentle guidance to get back on track and now is a good time to do this. I shudder to think what may have happened had her boyfriend continued to live with her.
It might be good for her to go to AA or even Al Anon to get a handle on what she's dealing with. As for the boyfriend, well, he's remorseful for now, but we all know how they are like this and then go right back to the addiction of choice and if Ashley isn't careful, she'll be pulled into that dark whole with him.
Is there any way to get her to go to a meeting tonight? If not, find a meeting that is being held this week. She needs all of the support she can get and the sooner the better.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
