hope567 Sorry you have to be here, but you are among friends. Theres not much you can really do about her at this point, not while shes in an active A. You can use this time to work on yourself though. Did she have any complaints toward you, minor or major, that you can think of? Many times it would look like nagging, but theres bits of truth within it that indicated places we can work on within ourselves.
There may have been some unmet emotional needs present in your M that may have led up to her being susceptible to looking for them in other places. This doesn't mean you are responsible for her actions or the A, just that you both contributed to the M in a way that could lead up to those things being possible.
Some things you cant, and shouldn't be trying to fix right now(mostly interactions with her), but its still good to understand what they may have been for the future. An example would be if she wanted you to show her more affection or scheduling date nights. Then it would have been good, now since shes checked out of the M it will only look like pursuing.
This is a very difficult situation so its very important to take care of yourself. Eat, sleep, GAL, exercise, read all you can. The links at the beginning of your thread are full of very useful information.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
