Part 20 - reassembly instructional

[edz]

Perfect Edz. It's so tough when your so close to the end but it's even more important now to show calm and patience. You will a happy family soon mate and that's great. Keep the image as your focus when you get down

Take care. Rd

Thanks RD, we cross posted there so I didnt mention you above. Yes, its in some ways trickier as I can feel afraid of undoing good works by pushing too hard or by seeming like Im backing off. Seems to be just a time to learn and listen to myself on my gut feelings that If w goes quiet let her be and dont make assumptions (my old, mr fixits actually, old trick of creating problems and panicking about them) keep to the calm waters unless there is an issue to address and make sure if there is it IS addressed by us both in the open of course - although we're not at needing that as yet.

I'm good with patience providing I keep mr fixit at bay, he wants to address houses,minutia and start working on many other things that will be important but - right now - arent as important as w feeling its right, dealing with re-entry (her words) and the odd wobble and - the elephant in the room - her mother. All things being equal mil/fil leave for the north at the end of the month and no one is keener to see that happen than w, she has told me she will feel a sense of freedom.

I have mixed feelings, I moved past everything with her mother - how she made w feel, damage to our m, all of it. Just let it go as it was toxic (lady v's advice there) I dont want to see w be parted from her parents or s from his gparents but, ultimately Ive also learned the very painful way while I can be there for w and s I cant take decisions for w or tell her what she should do or when. I also worry a little she's not dealing with mil as much as putting it off until its easier, will she wait until mil is a few hundred miles away and then give notice on the flat etc? Ultimately, again, her call I just want her (regardless of me) to take control of who she is and her decisions and not require MILs blessing and approval, even w says its very clear after these years she will never get it.

BUT am I disheartened? Nope. Just keeping on keeping on, there'll be (not sad songs) but the odd pot hole, wrong turn and uphill battle before we're back in m2.0 but w's timeline (which I dont discuss with her unless she raises it and never give her mr fixits days breakdown!) of 220 days to a christmas day together is still achievable today, we shall see. I'd rather consider that number than the 302 days ago that she left never wanting to see or hear from me again and considering that s was better off without me there, if so much has changed in that time, surely the rest is there for the taking if I remain patient, calm and keep on...keeping on.

Cheers