We are over, now what?

[NDY]

It just seems like I'm loosing both my lover AND my best friend and it was/is very overwhelming.

Hi Tulo

^this. Yes, you are. Or to be more blunt you already have. Sorry for sounding so harsh but that's the reality here. If R were to happen then you will gain a better lover and a better friend if he is willing to put in the work. But for now that's not the case. In my own situation being her friend was just making it easier for her to ramp up the A. I made it worse.