My marriage was abusive. It never got physical but the threat was there. Ex was verbally & emotionally abusive from the get go. He had anger problems, depression & problems with alcohol. I walked on egg shells. It was like a YoYo life. When it was good it was grand. When it was bad - it was horrible.
Ashley has been with a new boyfriend since January. She felt he was "the one". I was so happy for her. He even started working to help with Ryan's "Reno from Hell" as he is a carpenter.
This past weekend was a holiday weekend in Canada. Ashley & James planned a special camping trip with another couple. She was so excited. Saturday morning she called. He was very drunk, verbally abusing her, threatening, saying he was calling his drug dealer (who knew?) she was in a rural area. Of course Josh & I jumped in the van & went to get her & her stuff, enroute we were nearly hit head on by a speeding truck which turned out to be James (going for drugs apparently). This was the first she ever knew of him doing any drugs. He was acting insane. It took me back to my days with ex.
So she ended things with him. I told her to block him. As she had let him move in with her - she has to arrange for him to get his stuff back. He also needed to get his tools from here. I wrote him a check & told her to arrange a time for him to pick up his stuff - to box it up & set it outside.
Of course she did not listen. I let her stay in one of my cottages for 2 nights & have 2 friends visit. As soon as she left - she went home & he came over to "Talk" & pack. We messaged while this was happening. I told her not to cave. When he left he got his stuff from here. Then she phoned me. Wants to try again with him because he will stop drinking & smoking. She had told me on Sat he can't travel to the U.S. Due to a conviction - & that would never work for her. But now she just wants him back despite it all because most of it was good.
I have told her about the cycle of base. How my life with her dad was. But she will not listen. Because not all stories are the same. I told her that most stories of abuse ARE the same. It's almost textbook. She just cried and cried...
I'm drained. A lot of things have been going wrong of Kate. Mostly the Reno that is draining all my resources. And just found out we are losing 2 of Ryan's workers - leaving us short. Besides that - every thing I tried to do last week didn't happen. The good news is that life with Josh is good & he is so supportive. But for the first time in a long, long time - I cried. For a long, long time.
