hold on! - 10

[u-turn]

Thanks again Zues!
I wish I learned this much - realized where I was at - and acted with dignity in a short 4 months. Look at my time again . In the first four months - maybe even 6 I was a COMPLETE wreck. Then inaction became my path, always hoping that this was temporary and she will realize the mistake she made.

I know now, 16 months or so into this, that this will not be repaired, she has no intention to change and has said so. What you have written about the blame all going on to me and not wanting to be inconvenienced by this is really how she's acting. So twisted, but I guess it is her perception - so that is her reality. "just walk away and file for divorce u-turn and it will all be fine"

With W being at least 12 months into this affair, being married and not caring about her husband or family, and OM being married and seemingly not caring about his W or family, neither wanting to end their marriage, but continue with their wayward friends with benefit ways. I don't see recovering from this. (of course I am not talking about my recovery - I think I will just "feel a whole lot better when she's gone".

And at this stage - I don't know what another 6 months will do. Keeping things as is would just make things perfect for W - I don't want to make things perfect and simple for her. I am not trying to punish her, but she should know what the consequences are.

I don't know how this will all unfold, but I do know that I have a strong relationship with my kids, I know I am honorable man and have a lot going for me. I will be ok.

Thanks for your support and all you write in yours and all the other threads.