A) D7 has her end-of-year show this week. WW wants us to sit together as a family and seems to think it's entirely natural. I didn't want to, but now I'm not sure. It might be better for D3 and D7 to see their parents together. But I didn't want to sit with her because I don't want the awkwardness, nor the conversations. Also, I've become quite demonstrative since BD and fully expect to cry a good bit when I'll see D7 sing her bit of Les Miz, in part because I'm so hurt that I lost half of my kids. So, is it better if I agree and sit with her?
I'm not sure what to advise you Mozza - but let me tell you about the other side of this particular coin. Last week was "Open House" at D7's school. It was on a night when STBX keeps D7 and returns D3 - so I made an arrangement with him to meet at D7's classroom for the handoff thinking that we would both stay there for a while. The minute I walked in, STBX bailed and sent me a text a few minutes later saying that he had already seen all of her projects when he volunteers at the school on Fridays and to text him when we were done so he could take D7 home. Most of the other kids had two parents ooohing and aaahing over their work and it was an opportunity for them to "show off" their Mom and Dad. D7 missed out on this and I felt so very bad for her.
This Thursday is a little school play - D7 has a pretty large part. It would delight her if her Dad and I sat together to cheer her on - but it just doesn't remotely feel like a possibility - particularly after the Open House fiasco. Would I enjoy sitting next to STBX? Heck no. Honestly at the moment he makes my skin crawl. But I would cheerfully do it for my daughter.
I know you're resistant to any of your wife's attempts to cast this situation in a "normalizing" light. That never comes up in my sitch - but it would bug me too. All that being said - I think it does mean a lot to the kids.
I sincerely don't know if there is any "right" answer. Do what you think is best for you and your daughter.
