Mozza (12) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

Eight days since my last update. Lots has happened.

Dating report | Online dating is a bit like dynamite fishing. Tons of people interested to meet. I'm still overwhelmed. The date on Sunday went very well, we've seen each other since and we will again at the end of the week. We've been texting in the meantime, sometimes for hours with deep conversations. It's kind of a peek behind the curtain of what went on between WW and OM: the confusion as to what's happening, what emotions are involved, where things are headed, what desires are involved, etc. I find myself seeking intimacy more than sex. She knows I'm married and in a D process, but next time we meet I want to tell her more about how I feel about the whole thing. This is apart of the grand NMMNG experiment of being honest with myself and others. I'm willing to take risks because being a Nice Guy has probably brought me here. I've also been on two other dates in the last week and neither worked out. Both times, neither of us were interested to go further. I'm also in touch with other women on the website.

D report | WW called three mediators found on a list, only one picked up and she chose him, trying to set up an appointment. It drove me nuts because I'd be very careful in choosing this person, at least talking to each and even googling them. This is exactly like in our R: she goes too fast and I go too slow. She doesn't care, so it's on me to do the due diligence, even though I really didn't want to do any heavy listing. Of course, I'm not in the mood to do any of this, I don't see the rush in the D, and I've no experience so it takes me longer. Part of me thinks this mediation process might help me detach because I'll be confronted to so many of the incompatibilities between WW and I. I also expect her to be completely self-centered, to lack any empathy for me, I expect myself to be too perfectionist, condescending. Oh, of course, I'll do all the usual efforts to DB my best and keep things smooth.

Detachment report | WW and OM went on a trip this week-end to a place where she and I went 5-6 times, increasing the sense that I'm replaced plain and simple. I even took the kids a day earlier to enable this trip. It hurt me more than usual and the week-end was a little rough.

GAL Report | I report little on this because it's not really an issue. I'm always busy. This week-end, I had my cousin, his W and their three daughters, about the same age as mine. Today, I spent time with another friend and his family. Tomorrow night, I'm hosting a friend from out of town, Wednesday D7 has a show, Thursday is my dance class. Work is suddenly very busy and I end up working at night.

Advice needed | I'd like to know what the community thinks about the following two things.

A) D7 has her end-of-year show this week. WW wants us to sit together as a family and seems to think it's entirely natural. I didn't want to, but now I'm not sure. It might be better for D3 and D7 to see their parents together. But I didn't want to sit with her because I don't want the awkwardness, nor the conversations. Also, I've become quite demonstrative since BD and fully expect to cry a good bit when I'll see D7 sing her bit of Les Miz, in part because I'm so hurt that I lost half of my kids. So, is it better if I agree and sit with her?

B) I'm starting to get snappy at WW. She told me I could have told her something minor earlier about D7's show, that she would have done certain things earlier. I replied "No need to blame". I don't complain about her multiple offenses, so I hope I won't be told I'm causing her slight trouble for the smallest thing. Later, she told me that mediation should go well, regardless of who is the mediator, if we're both honest and solutions-oriented. I told her I gave her no reason since the S and even in the R to remind me multiple times (she has) to be honest and cordial, that I found it disrespectful. She backtracked immediately and even used some validation on me. So, how wrong am I to draw a line in the sand on certain things related to treated me with respect? Is it even wrth it? Details available on demand.

Of course, feedback on any other issue is welcome. I've often been surprised by the perspectives of this community and adapted my approach in real life. Thanks for being there.