Heartbreak Warfare

[V2pt0]

Thanks for sharing, Painter. Yes, we have had couple of very calm conversations about affair and I did ask some questions. I confronted him a few weeks ago after finding evidence. He admitted to it straight away saying our marriage was as bad as it could get, so no reason to lie. He said it started in October when he was unemployed and being supported by me. He said I found evidence because affair was no longer going on. It makes no sense whatsoever and said as much to him. I also question to myself that it started in October. I thought/think that the A started after our fight in March--as in mid-April. I think he wants me to think that this is something in the past and well over. I just keep thinking back to October and just don't see that going on, but I could be blind. Is it feasible that he would make up start of A date in past to throw me off!? There is just something off about timing.

I would say I am about 99% certain that it is still going on, though H tells me to my face that it is not. So I have to go with that until I have further evidence that does not require snooping. Things add up to it though...late nights out, working late, will not tell me who he had A with, dieting, working out, the mysterious extended business trip ( I confirmed with hotel after charge for only one night came through that he did check out as originally planned), getting defensive about photos of female on phone, being super secretive, etc. I think I may have figured out who it is too, but not 100%. Everyone is advising not to confront as it won't stop him and will just push him towards OW.

I have told him that I do want to try and get past this and want try and forgive him, but it will take time to trust him and that there is a lot of work to happen before then. I put it into same context as him being hesitant to trust me and my changes. He seem to understand.