Adding a bit ... as this has creeped up on me in the past .. maybe if I get it down .. out .. it will help.
So W TM me a bit today, little more on the light side, then more about typical normal matters .. seems her Monday meetings have been cancelled so she is keeping busy doing various personal things .. asking me about some medical bills, what I ate for lunch, which pictures we should get from S's 1st Communion photo-shoot ... superficial stuff. While we were chatting I figured I would bring up the Retrouvaille weekend ... its in a month and I figured we should go ahead and reserve it if thats the area we are leaning. Things have been stressed between us the past week or so.
So she asks when it is ... I emailed her all this, told her again via TM, she asked for names/numbers .. I sent them. Then she calls. She left a message as there was no answer, says that S could possibly stay with BIL1 (5 hour drive north) for the weekend ... I told her I can take Friday off, drive him all the way so BIL is not put out ... maybe Mon she can go get S, have BIL meet her .. or work it out with him. She then asks the times, it starts 6-7 Friday (She exlaims are you kidding .. why?) then goes till 5:30 Sundal (Again more reaction from her as its way to late) .... I am a little ... grrrr. ... like sacrificing a weekend to save a 24yr relationship is asking to much. I kind of push back a bit, as she says its to much to drive all the way up and back in one day, I tell her I am willing to do it as I think its important. She let that go.
We end the call .. she TM that she wants the list for S's IC again .. it has expired so I need to get a new one tomorrow, she could do this but its one of those 180's for me .. actually setting appts up so she in not doing it all. Then she asks what we tell S about going to BIL for the weekend and I mentioned we just tell him the truth about what is going on and where we are going
W:"I just don't want him to get his hopes up incase this turns out for the worse, how do we do that?"
^^^ Stung for me a bit, makes me feel like she is not willing to go all in
Me:"We are trying thats all we can do... be honest with hi and include him with what is going on... he has already lived it up to this point"
I left it at that. But statements from her like that and during the talks about the time being to much .. they get to me .. its like she does not want to do the work, maybe its having to deal with talking about the A, our issues, I am not sure but just feels she is still in the "Throw the hands up and run" phase and it bothers me..... then she will tell me how a Condo is up for sale in her area for $XXX, not sure if its just talk or if there is a temp check on thinking we could buy again.
