Here's my dilemma. We all like to think that our sitches are unique, although they probably are not. In my case, the woman I have known for 20 years is one that will never admit fault or make the first move when she is wrong. She is headstrong and proud, and would rather fall on her sword than admit that she was wrong about something. I'm wondering now if she is waiting for me to pursue her and fight for her love. I know that sounds crazy based on the fact that she had an affair, left me, and filed for divorce. However, in her mind, I had grown distant, uncaring, and did not show her the love and respect that I should have in the last year.
Am I completely nuts here? Is there any validity at all to my thinking process? Or is this just me being manipulated by her?
My W is EXCACTLY the same way ... proud and stubborn, basically had that entitled vibe like the A was my fault.
I think it has to do with respect, in a sense the WAW loses respect for the LBH especially if we are the fixer-pursuer conflict avoiding types ... I was/am/still working on that. So one must like Sandi said become the somewhat aloof Football player, regain his own mojo ... trick here is you do not do this for her, you do it for yourself. She is controlling you a bit, telling you when you need to respond, sharing the knife story well after it happened ... to get a response out of you .. she has placed you in a spot, expects you to always be there as she does her thing .... once she feels you starting to move without her permission she will temp check you to see where you are ... do things to put you back. I noticed a difference when my W knew I was no longer in that corner, I was in fact moving on ... she for the first time was scared to lose me. My M is far from fixed .. but those things changed the sitch
Stop being so available, she will continue to test to see if the changes you have made are real, and to make sure you are where she left you.
