Yes, that's a good point about medicating with fantasy from the future. I have thought about that a lot. You're right, I'm not sure that's what I'm doing.
I read your list and agree...it's hard for us to always know what's best for us. Do we ever really know what we want?
Hey Zues! I don't think you are medicating at all. I think you are really aware of your actions right now and you're willing to feel it all. That's great. I am not fantasizing, per se, but I am sincerely trying to figure out what's important to me without judging it. The Potential Date (PD) would not fit into my normal social circle, for a couple of reasons. Does it mean he's not a great guy and wouldn't be a great partner? No, obviously it doesn't. But does it mean I should give up on wanting those things that would make him fit? Not necessarily. I'm trying to find the balance between being open minded and compromising.
As far as really knowing what we want, I do think I'll get there eventually. Twenty-five years ago, if you'd have told me I had to build a house from scratch, I'd have panicked. How could I possibly know what I want, how could I pick all that out? But now, having re-modeled three houses, I could easily design and build a house from the ground up, I know what I want. With a guy, the trick is going to be taking less than 25 years to figure it out, I don't have that long......;)
