Hey LL, You have probably mentioned this before but I have not been around all that long....would scheduling sex work for him? Something like an every Fri night thing?
My gut is telling me NO it won't (I know it wouldn't with my H) but hey it's worth a shot.
It sounds like he has a cycle: He forgets to be sexual, then belatedly realizes your frustration (either by your verbal or nonverbal clues), then avoids all things sexual cause he has let you down and now the whole thought of sex has a negative connotation to it for him.
The whole disconnect occurs in the "he forgets to be sexual" part and I wish I had an easy solution for that one. Cause you can't say or do anything to remind him or you've just moved right on up to the avoidance stage. The only thing I've had any amount of luck with is keeping things light. Telling him that I "miss him" and that I'd like to get together soon and I have to make sure that there is not a TRACE of bitterness (at having to ask) in my voice--only love. It is hard but I'll do all kinds of things when I'm desperate enough for sex.
