Advice Welcome, separating and W moving out soon..

[jedi]

Just to add to my last post, while I may have been (or still are) blinded to the gravity of this situation, I do not truly believe that once she's gone and maybe misses me that she can just say so, come back home, and that all will be normal again.

I don't believe we can return to the M that we had, and at this point we need to both grow into something new. Coming to this conclusion was a big step for me and has allowed me to stop wallowing about what I was losing and to start looking forward.

I'm inherently a 'fixer' kind of person. I would always have an opinion on how she could change something in her life for the better, but the problem lies in that I felt my option was the best. Looking back, it's almost certain that she felt I was constantly minimizing her emotions and needs. And seeing now that I am in fact looking at this as a "phase" (thanks to Zues), I'm apparently still minimizing her emotions. I believe she needs time and space to work through this, but I'm really just applying what I think she needs to the situation. If I'm honest, I have no idea what she truly needs right now. Space and time are logical conclusions, but they may be wholly incorrect.

How does one stop this? Am I too attached at this point to step away from my own feelings and truly see hers?

I have been working on being better when we've talked over the last 4-5 weeks, asking questions, listening, and trying to validate what SHE has decided to do about things without butting in with my opinion. STFU'ing is hard for me, but it's a baby step.