I guess it depends on how you look at things. So much has happened in such a short time. My head is spinning. My H said he was definitely going on bahamas trip with OW and I said expect that it will change everything if you do. He proceede to play some serious mind games with me my asking me if OW could borrow my snorkeling gear for the trip. I said NO how could you even ask such a question. Then he said she didn't really need my stuff had her own. So I said why would you ask then. His answer was basically to prove how selfish I was. Turns out she really did need to borrow it because her stuff is in NC with her husband who she doesnt want to know she is going on the trip. so screwed up.
Then we all went to see my daughter at college for a special sorority thing she had asked us to go to. H was a real jerk the whole day and night. All kinds of cruel comments and then Mother's day sucked. So I was pretty much ready for him to get the hell out.
On Tuesday my H informed me that the OW is confirmed by biopsy to have breast cancer. He is very vague about what his intentions are. Says he is not going to abandon us but would be a horrible person if he abandoned his "friend" in her time of need. They left on Wed for bahamas. He texted me that he loved me and thanks for letting him get away. I did not answer any of his texts (4 on Fri/Sat asking how we were, etc then saying I have decided to hate him and he wished I would talk to him) He texted the kids but very superficial. They answered but were very cool as I explained to them what was going on
I spoke with a lawyer by phone today and have an appt. with another tomorrow. As I understand it in order to get him to move out I have to file for a divorce. I know it is what I need to do I just wish I could slow things down a little.
He is back at our cabin. Called to say he made it back and would let me know his plans. He did not come Home. Had to wash his plane, get dinner, feed the chickens. He is exhausted and can't deal with me tonight. Not surprised and a little relieved, but still hurt to be so low on the list of priorities. And I ache for my kids who he feels like he can drop in and out of their lives as he sees fit because he is tired and needs to feed the chickens
sorry for the long post. Have been holding this all in
