The new normal

[Zues126]

Wow, it's like now that it's on my mind it's EVERYWHERE.

My dad told me about a controversial debate that's going on about addiction. I'll have to check it out, right now I'm talking about this third hand.

So the classic model of addiction is that once we get a taste of something that makes our brain light in powerful ways (porn, opiates, gambling, etc), we become addicted, and we need more to feel good.

This has been the long time view, and has been supported by a classic test: A rat is locked in a cage with two water bottles. One has regular water, another has water laced with cocaine. All the experiments proved that the rat became addicted, and drank the cocaine water until it was strung out or dead from OD. So again, the conclusion is our desire for the addictive substance controls our actions and we become a slave to it, even at the result of personal destruction.

But this ignores a ton of evidence we see every day. Soldiers going to Viet Nam that used heroin daily during their deployment, that then returned and never used again. Cancer patients that are prescribed morphine for their pain for 6 weeks, that then stop using when the pain is gone. And so on.

So another experiment was conducted. A rat was locked in a cage, two bottles of water, one laced with cocaine...but this time there was more in the cage. It was a HUGE cage with hamster wheels, toys, places to explore, and a community of other rates to mate and raise young with. Guess what? The rat tried the cocaine water but never became addicted, and quickly avoided it going forward.

This experiment was meant to prove that the addicted substances by themselves aren't so powerful that they enslave us and control our lives. It's only when we are sad, unfulfilled, and malnourished in our own spirit that we are susceptible. So when the rat was locked up, lonely, bored, being tortured by neglect and captivity...yes, it coked itself out. But in a full community, it had no such compulsion.

This ties in nicely with my thoughts about understanding what needs were being neglected, and working to meet my own needs in healthier ways. I can see how I felt so compelled to 'rely' on porn during my sex starved M...and also how my STBX could be so compelled to end the M and seek comfort with OM, alcohol, or the promise of a brighter future. It gives me compassion for both of our failings. And it gives me hope for change.

Py- honestly, I'm so darn happy the only thing that's sad is I don't have a partner to share the love I feel in my heart with. But trust me, I'm saving it all up, and I'm determined to give my next woman the 2.0 version