You said that if you went home, your W would go nuclear. But you are going home in the event she is with OM. I just can't figure out the connection with you going home in order to DB against her R with OM.
When there is a case of OM, DB'ing involves detachment. Even moreso if she is a WW.
This is compounded by the fact that you don't even know what you will do if you went home.
I would at least create a solid plan of action and clear up your confusion before going back home. You could do real damage barging in there without a plan to manage yourself. You need a real goal too.
Most LBS's who have to live at home with a WAW in an A fog is a soul destroying experience. I know this first hand! I don't recommend it!
So, having said that. You go home on the assumption she is actively in an A. Sandi's advice about a WW, you would have to implement. When you read it, what are your thoughts on it?
I thought sandis advice was rock solid. The connection I was drawing between if this friend is more than just that, going home would be a show of being firmer rather than softer: which was how I interpreted sand is differences between WAW and WW.
That's a good question. I'm not sure what it would accomplish. Which is why there is no way I can do it right now because like you said: I would need a plan.
I guess I'm mostly looking for opinions and viewpoints from others: what is my most effective course of action concerning this specific matter.
I have to do some self assessment and figure out what I may not be admitting to myself. Maybe it is that I would feel like I was taking more control back of the situation. I'm not sure which is the clear indication that I can't act on it at this point.