After a few minutes trying to reassure her that D4 would be safe, I compromised and agreed to text her at night to let her know D4 was safe.
I can understand a mother's concern, especially for the youngest one. However, she was worried about the safety of D4?
You have to find a balance with some of these interactions. It becomes a trap, manipulated solely by the WW. She wants control over what you do and where you go with the kids, and when you get to see them. She will continue to text you often enough to keep you from having peace. You do not have to do what she tells you, and you sure don't have to please her.
Two cards the WW plays the most.........guilting the LBH, and accusing him of trying to control her (which is ironic b/c this is her tool to control him). Most times, I have seen it work very effectively on the vernable man who questions himself.
If she wants a divorce, she needs to see how it really works. If you ever hope to have a future R with another woman, you had better this situation stabilized or it will continue to be a thorn in your life.
You are the father of these children, right? And you are having to text her when you arrive and when you start back? No, that is what you did in the M.........not in a D. Why is it necessary to reassure her over and over, that D4 is safe with her own father? You should tell her something like, "Look, if there's a problem, I will let you know. Otherwise, I won't be answering your texts while on my trip". It will make her mad, but she got mad anyway! She is controlling you.
This may seem too harsh for some folks, but unless the children ask for their mother, I am not sure I would bend over backward in letting her call them throughout the times you are schedules to have them. Here's the thing, she did not consider this when she wanted out of the M, and thought she would always have the upper hand. Let her accuse you of punishing. So what? Tell her that is the pot calling the kettle black. She can believe whatever she wants, if that helps her. Just remember to keep a controlled tone of voice when you are verbally speaking to her.
For the record, the purpose here is not to punish anyone. It is to break free of her grasp and have control over your own life. In order to do that, you will probably say and do things that upset her. So what? You cannot live your life trying to please a WW.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
