So finally H started talking about D going thru in a week. Actually less than a week. I was dreading this talk but I was very calm throughout it. Didn't shed a tear...good progress for me. The last time we spoke about R and D over a month ago I ended begging and pleading. After reading DR and the forum here as well all the advice everyone's given me I am very proud of myself today! I think H was pretty impressed with me too, though he didn't say it. He says he's going ahead with D, (cried in my heart but maintained my composure) but he feels that we can still work it out. He says he needs more time to figure out if the changes we're both making are gonna last. He says I've been doing a lot of things that were out of my character and he likes it. He also asked if I'd be willing to give us a max of 12 mths to see if we can be M again and in the meantime be committed to each other and not start dating anyone yet.
Some of the 180s I've been doing for the past 7 weeks after reading DR: 1) I stopped calling or texting him at work. Before this I would just call to say hi or ask what he had for lunch etc. I stopped that. Pretty hard to do at first since it's been a habit of mine for the longest time. I realized that if I didn't call him he'd end up calling me instead..so I had to be really patient. And everytime he called I would hang up first
2) used to complain a lot about him not helping out with chores. Now I do it willingly and the funny thing is he has started helping out so much more. And I didn't have to ask him.
3) used to tell him every single detail of my day. Now I try to keep it a mystery and he ends up asking more. I try to keep details to minimum. I've always been an open book..haha
Doing the 180s, GAL, acting as if and stop pursuing has really helped me so far. I'm hoping that I'll be consistent with them. One thing that has keeping me on track is to tell myself that I'm gonna take one day at a time. Forget about what's gonna happen in a months time, a years Time or in 5 years time. I just focus on making each day a good day for myself and for my kids. Sure there are days when I just feel like not getting out of the bed..but that's when the acting as if helps.
