Alpha Step At A Time #5

[alpha99]

Hi toots,

I don't want reconciliation now to be honest. I was willing to forgive an affair, I believe I had pretty quickly actually, but I cannot forgive the ongoing behaviour out of my W.

I did call her back the other day just to say sorry for the name calling. I said I just want to get on for the kids, go through this whole process as amicably as we can, and move on with life. Her words agree but her attitude stinks!

You see, I've read in lots of threads about a WW's behaviour and how irrational it can seem. The difference with my W is that left to herself she is irrational anyway, regardless of affairs and everything else. I worked this out pretty quickly after meeting her all those years ago but being a little older, earning more money at the time, and yes, being the man, I assumed (wrongly) that over time she would mature and see sense once I'd shown her how to run things properly. The reasons I had financial control on our R was because she was absolutely useless with money. Her medical condition and being spoilt rotten as a child contribute to this. Sure, I kept things on too tight of a rein in the last few years no doubt but now she is independent her irrationality has exposed itself 10x over.

So the next thing is this: W did an extra shift at work apparently that is paid differently to her normal wages, and this additional money was paid into my account by mistake. I have only seen her once since and just forgot to give her the money. No big deal in my eyes, I'll just give it to her when I see her next. Apparently she has been on the phone to her mum complaining that I'm withholding the money etc, that's she's asked several times, that she's desperate for it etc. This is not true, and also ignores the fact she owes me £100s for her share of the household bills she hasn't paid since leaving.

So when I drop the kids off at MIL's this morning I was faced with a whole load of spew about solicitors, them having loads of money, W getting more than 50% share of the house sale money etc etc. All ridiculous stuff. No mention of the 10x amount that wife owes me.

Here's some logic for you:

* According to MIL, W shouldn't have to pay any household bills because she was 'forced' to move out (I moved out first). W chose to leave of her own free will.
* W should get more money from house sale because she has the kids (we have no legal arrangement there) despite not paying any bills.
* House is a mess still (W's mess from when she lived there - her clothes laying around etc) but it's my fault that I haven't tidied it up for her.
* A few other things I won't go into now.

I didn't bite for the most part but there's only so long anyone can put up with a bunch of halfwits! I have to drive past W's house on the way home so I pulled over and knocked on the door. No answer. I called her, asked if she was in. She said yes. I said I'm outside. She said, 'oh no, I'm not in'...Lies just stream out her these days!

You can't say a sentence of sense without hearing 'I'm not interested anyway' or 'that doesn't matter now' all because she doesn't like hearing anything resembling the truth.

Now, reading this I'm certain it comes across as obviously being biased in my favour. I am very polite on the phone with W but do set the record straight and won't accept the nonsense she comes out with to justify things (had an affair because she couldn't buy new clothes every week being one amongst many ridiculous excuses).

The conversation ended with agreement that the house money should be 50/50, divorce should happen ASAP, and we shouldn't fight. It's a shame I can't trust her as far as I can throw her these days!