Alpha Step At A Time #5

[Sotto]

Hi Alpha, I'm sorry things took a turn for the worse for you guys. I think the process of actually splitting things and selling the marital home is stressful and emotions can run high.

How are you feeling about things now? Have you and your W had any contact since the argument? I guess from a DB perspective, we're aiming for a balance between boundary setting and keeping in mind our end goal. It sounds as though your W crossed a boundary for you when she put stuff out on the lawn without consulting you. And I think it's fair enough to call her on that.

It's a shame that things deteriorated though, and I'm sure you already know that calling your W a cheap tart isn't going to get you closer to reconciliation if that is what you still want. But maybe from what you write it isn't?

Maybe for now it's best to focus on coparenting and maintain as good a R with your W as possible even though circumstances are difficult. Getting drawn in to an argument like you describe is 'attachment' and if you are able to be more detached, things are far less likely to escalate because your W can't argue with herself, can she?

Keep posting Alpha. There's still much journeying ahead for most of us here, and we all benefit from some help and support along the way - take care.... (((Alpha)))