The "talk" scheduled for Saturday..

[Pyrite]

lay it on Tulo. Get it out. Would you be surprised that I have heard it/ thought it, all the things you are saying before? I dont think you would be surprised. first thing is to calm your anxiety. exercise is essential. the ratios of oxygen/CO etc in your blood get screwed up when we are anxious. A brisk walk etc restores them and makes you able to function better.

meditation is a great way to get through life in general but certainly here. If you are anxious a good and easy technique is to re-center. close your eyes and breathe, dont try and control your breathing just notice it, where is the air hitting, where can you feel it most. can you feel the cold air in your nose, your throat, your chest. And the warm air that you breathe out - where do you feel this the most - the tip of your nose, etc. This is your centre. OK now branch out, use your ears.If you are inside listen and focus on sounds from inside. breathe and continue this for a while until you are confident you know where you are and everything you hear. Move your focus to sounds outside. Repeat as above. Finally come back to your center and sitter for a while. DONT try and do anymore than this.

When you are finished resist going straight back to thinking about HIM. It is/should be easier to control your mind a little now. things will spiral out of control again - so do this again. all day long if you have to. I did have to!

You can adapt the above. For me my hearing is that bad that I can't hear inside and out, so I walk (in my head) out of the room and back in. I can hear on the beach so I concentrate for example on the wind versus the water. Or focus on birds or children playing.

I used to wake up in the middle of the night and have anxiety attacks. It used to take 1-2 hours for me to work through what I was upto and what the sitch really was. I woke up and it was a cold shock that everything was NOT as it had been for 12 years. This is normal. You've been dealt a raw deal Tulo but the fact that you are here suggests that you are on your way out already, and better than that, you are on your way out of it in the most +ve way possible. Congratulate yourself [Now i have to listen to my own advice]

hugs Tulo ((((Tulo)))) - thats my first virtual hug, did I do it right?