The "talk" scheduled for Saturday..

[Pyrite]

me again, I have been having a rough few days, wrestling with thought of W, talking to her in my head. What you are feeling goes away, a new element in this grief process pops up, but the first is not gone, its just laying down for now. this happens until you have several elements that you are and have been working on. It is just like more cards come out onto the table.

you put one down, an pick another up. you are in a different position in the game and so handle it differently, but it is still essentially the same card. we try to put new, different cards on the table (GAL,180) and we are lucky if we pick up one of these cards. Eventually there will be more of those good cards, the impact of these bad cards will be less, and the game will be fun even.

i have been picking up and holding onto bad cards. I have to put them down again. so should even listen to my own advice and forcibly put down the card.

i realise what i said sounds uber-cheesy
losing hope, gives you hope

let me add in a few extra words "losing this unrealistic, false, or at least unhelpful hope, gives you a chance at having realhope, hope in what you should be hoping for, a fun game, sunshine, Tulo2.0. And this is achievable. YOU and only you, can do this.

Now - back to me