Two steps forward....three steps back

[Bob723]

Thank you Bob. It is comforting to hear from others with "unique" and untypical dynamics in their situation.

You and I are def dealing with the same thing: Being blamed for everything with our W's not yet possessing the ability to see their own roles.

Hey BEC,

You are most welcome! I'm glad that you found my post comforting. Let's pray that someday they will see their own roles which could, in turn, lead to reconiliation. But since it is out of your control and mine, just keep working on being the "best BEC" you can me.

Your end statement is so true. Yes, we are.

Try to think positive thoughts and do something you like to do. Even if don't feel up to it. It really seems to be helping me.

We'll get thru this together!

Bob

[BEClem]

Just out if curiosity and I know that some of you have chimed in with answers already.

Is there anyone out there who thinks it would be a good idea for me to just go home?

Not saying I think it's a good idea and not saying I'm going to do it.

[TenBook]

Take the option that scares you the most.

[BEClem]

Well [censored]: packing up and just going home scares me the most.

[BEClem]

Just out if curiosity and I know that some of you have chimed in with answers already.

Is there anyone out there who thinks it would be a good idea for me to just go home?

Not saying I think it's a good idea and not saying I'm going to do it.

Others have advised against it.

[BEClem]

Take the option that scares you the most.

Just wondering why you would suggest to take the option that scares me most. Can you elaborate on that Ten?

[TenBook]

180 is about doing the opposite of what you normally do.

You tell me you that in the past you were depressed and you abandoned her. So, has moving away gotten you any closer? Has moving away just seem a natural option for you?

You know what her reaction will be when you announce that you are moving back. You know that this could drive her away in an accelerated fashion.

My advice to you is that if you choose to go that route, you make sure that you are prepared to work through your own issues. No point in going back and being the same man.

[TenBook]

I'm going to be honest with you BEC. You keep asking if you should go back or not. So, let's work through a plan on returning home and get some feedback from the forum.

[BEClem]

Just want to be clear: I didn't leave by choice. She asked me to leave for "temporary" 3 month sep.

I never wanted to leave my home.

I'm not sure where I would even begin to develop a plan. And yes, I fear that if I go home she will take the kids and leave.

[BEClem]

The reason I clarified Ten was because it seemed, from your post, that you might be under the impression that I literally abandoned my family and left my home by choice.

That's not what happened. The abandonment my w expresses is referring to emotional abandonment and unavailability. For example, when I was really struggling with crippling daily panic attacks I would fight through them while at work but when I came home I would quite often take naps to calm myself down and relieve the symptoms. This obviously caused me to not be able to spend time with her and the children.

As far as me physically leaving my house: not my idea. I made it very clear that I did not want to have a sep.