Ripken - LRT with a WW and divorce filed #3

[Defacto]

Had I guess a set back today. Wife was talking about when to start dividing up time with boys when I move out next week. Had our first conflict with June 6th, I had plans for a bachelor party and she dropped the bomb that she took off work because she's going out of town with om. Ugh.

That was worked out, but later in the day she was getting more emotional and upset about which blu Rays I would take, because she thought I was making a point that since I make more money and bought them, I should have all of them and another feeling of her being worthless because she makes less than me and can't provide for the family. All her words and feelings not mine. I told her while there are a lot of things about her right now I'm not particularly fond of her being a lesser provider was never a thought.

Then she started talking about mutual friends we'd have after the divorce. And then said she was upset and hurt that her sister is still close with me and ww feels is closer to me than her. Said she wishes sister would just cut me out of her life, but would never ask her to do that.

Ww then went on a tangent about how she's finally doing things for her and while she's made some [censored] up decisions had to finally do it for her. I told her I was sorry that our relationship got to a point where she no longer felt she could talk to me and the only option she felt she had was to make those bad decisions.

She said there are tons of times she goes back and forth and digs her heels in, wondering if she should do what's comfortable, but always pushes herself to break free.

I told her that's why I needed to move out because as easy as it is to blame everything on her, I need to process what I can change in me and make me a better person. I need to figure out why I allow myself to think so low of myself that I can continue to be treated like crap from someone that doesn't care about me.

She started crying and said she does care and that's why she was crying.

I told her I hope she is able to work out what it is in her that brings up these triggers and feeling and how much of it is me, the same as I am.

This is the first time I've felt she's had any sense of questioning or second guessing any decision. She still is selfish and ready to move on and I still feel she doesn't care, but she's never said anything like that since bomb drop

It's a roller coaster, brother. My STBX has had a couple of these moments, including one this morning. Stay grounded and focused. Now is the time to really stick to your plan, especially when you are searching for any sign that WW wants to return to the MR. She doesn't, at least not anytime soon.

I was intentionally not around when my STBX moved out just to avoid the emotional awkwardness of it all.