The "talk" scheduled for Saturday..

[Tulo]

Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it!

Sorry to hear that you've gone through the stuff you had, and very thankful for your thoughts. I think you are right, we all want to think that this will work, marathon not a sprint and all that but truth is it's over and what will happen, we don't know.
I know I'm having a hard time with the acceptance of it, hoping I'll get there soon though. I know it's over, but hard to feel that it's over.

And as you say Cadet have lots of good stuff in his welcome and I'll go back and read all that again.
Think you are right, when I think about it, that thing about both being alive and all that might very well be a sign that I'm not detached at all, since that forms some sort of hope. Have to keep thinking about that. But does detaching mean to loose hope too? I kind of read it that I ought to detach from him, not necessarily detach from the hope to one day get him back.. I'm Swedish and haven't got English as my first language so maybe I misunderstood it..? As you say switch them off feels so hard, but I understand that I need to block thoughts of him (now they are present like 24/7) to get through this and I am working on it.

Haha, rock bottom is a very regular thing, I would say.. Seem to find myself there more often than I would like.
But I will make myself detach from him, and kill the hurtful thoughts that go through my head when I'm by myself and they run around my head like a headless chicken.
Is there OW involved after all, has everything been a lie, what is he doing, with whom is he doing what, and so on.. Hurts like hell and it has to stop. NOW!

A small comfort is the fact that it's less painful today, than last week and I read all your comments and how you've dealt with things and that makes me feel like there is hope for me too.

I have decided to do loads of different runs during the summer, 10K and half marathons, so I have things to work towards. It makes me happy when I run (more so after than during sometimes though) and I think I need the endorphins pretty BAD at the moment. I'm gonna try and get away on a vacation too, and really work on my GAL as best I can.

Thank you so much for all your great advice and experience, means a lot to me and I sure do need it!

Big hug to you! Going to read your tread so I know more of your stitch too!