Wayward Wife and LRT Part 3

[Georgia Bulldogs]

There is no court order restricting your 100% right to do whatever you want with your children. You could get on a plane this afternoon and fly to Africa for a month if you want.

Couple ways to play this going forward:

1. Don't talk about it. It's discussing and negotiating terms of a divorce and custody arrangement that you want no part of discussing. You don't want a divorce at all. Lawyers can handle the divorce details, if necessary.

2. It sounds like she's just demanding the courtesy of knowing where the kids are all the time but that's not how parallel co-parenting plans work. Might be good time to discuss that IF you divorce you kind of like the idea of a parallel parenting plan for high conflict divorces wherein neither of you will really know much of what goes on with the kids on a daily basis when they are with the other parent. [then again, this may be tipping your hat too early about a legal strategy...if and when she files you want her to file nice~~~ hopefully)

3. I don't think she's pushing for this but it would probably REALLY work in your favor to get it....a "Right of First Refusal". She works nights and the kids are "babysat" by your inlays all the time. A "right of first refusal" seemingly would give you the right to step in and be with your children while she's working instead of them being babysat by your inlaws. You'd simply never have a situation like last night again where you should give her the right to step in. It's not hard. You and your buddy could have stayed home and had craft beers over a fire pit in the back yard. A right of first refusal would be much more advantageous to you.

Again, it doesn't sound like she WANTS the right of first refusal. She just thinks she's entitled to be notified where her children are at all times (of course, this "rule" isn't reciprocal). You could listen to her and sympathize and without trying to teach her say something like "If we divorce, it's going to be really hard for both of us to accept not knowing what are kids are doing 24/7....it's killing me not having my kids sleeping down the hall every night, how are you handling it???".

No crying, begging, weakness.
No acting, pretending.
No in your face I can do whatever I want with the kids during "my time"
Just being human

****look at your progress. You are a month now past exposure. She hasn't blown up at you in weeks. She hasn't filed yet (and you'll be ok if she does...it's just a piece of paper which doesn't negate the progress you've made). You are now assessing the situation yourself through your own filter and taking advice not as direction but rather as input in your own decision making processes. Things are OK. You are making it. Either way.