Hi Vge - great news re the chemo, I am so happy for you. Sending you more positive thoughts and prayers for your next round. You are a fighter Vge, Girl Power Ka-Pow!
Originally Posted By: vge1
However, my youngest said no - not going. Well, I told my children that it really has to be a consensus, otherwise it's a no.
Can I ask why it had to be a consensus - giving your youngest an ultimatum "its all or nothing" came from you, making you the one pressuring h/s into going to do something with their d they are not comfortable with - h/s will remember this. I know trying to remain neutral is hard especially when you are up against an evident jackass, however its vital if you are to keep a good relationship with your kids; you really are doing well with them. Your 17 & 16yr old are certainly old enough to communicate with your h on their own, I believe your younger ones are 9 & now 8 - can their therapist help them with communicating their feelings to your h directly? (sorry if I have got the ages incorrect )
I am so sorry your y did not have a good b/day - I know it's not quite the same but can you have do -over, have a 2nd birthday (Like the Queen of UK, she has 2). I know just how you feel - my sx2 celebrated their 18th and 21st this year and their dad was supposed to take them out for a few beers (especially s18, buy his first "legal" beer) but instead he took them out with ow and her kids for a meal. I missed out on two important milestones to her - so GRRRRRRR away, I am right there with ya !!
As for her coming to the house - hmmm, well not a lot you can do about that, its just inconsideration on your h part. Remember that you don't know what your h has told ow, she is just a clueless pawn in his crazy - I mean, if you think about it, either she does not know the truth about his leaving or she is unhinged herself; to think it's ok to hook up with a married man - so either way (or maybe its both), don't give her the space in your head, she is sooooooo not worth it.
Vge, you are doing really well, this is a minefield which comes with no map of where the bombs are - you are negotiating it with grace, everytime you hit one, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going. Your one true amazing lady
