Old dog seeks new trick 13

[Old Dog]

Hey thanks for chipping in PigPen. I understand what your saying however, thinking about it, our unconscious brain doesn't necessarily have the best plan for us. It's our unconscious brain that follows the script that got many of us into this position in the first place.

I have a script. In it I adhere to passive and passive aggressive tendencies as well as others. I am not a leader I am co-dependent. I hate it and understand the only way to alter it is to recognise it, face it and work to change the habits of a lifetime. So it's our conscious brain that has to teach the unconscious one the 'correct' way.

It is soooo dispiriting sometimes and I feel I can't do it, or can't do it alone. There goes that co-dependency alarm. I am seeing a counsellor to try and combat it. But I am impatient too. I have lived this way all my life and I want it to stop. I have also started going to co-dependency anonymous (CoDA UK) once a fortnight. Of course, they follow the 12 steps as an offshoot of AA, so I'm going to have problems with the higher power thing there too.

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And on the other topic above, here I am on Saturday morning at the kids and WW's home. Just being here amongst all possessions makes me irritable and angry at the injustice. The kids aren't up yet and I don't display that in front of them anyway: in fact they help me maintain a positive metal attitude - my goodness, I realised it's months since I used that expression. I've felt so down since WW started her affair. Damn her.