AJ, I’m not saying that GAL is bad. I think it just different for some people. When do too much GAL, I actually feel worse. I’m drained out of energy. I have the personality that benefits from time alone. I recharge when I’m alone. Plus, it helps me to work on myself, dig into my issues. I feel like too much GAL is actually similar to MLCer behavior to just distract from internal work. If it makes sense… Plus, in my situation, I feel like no matter how much GAL I do, I’m still stuck. Sometime I wonder how much more I need to do to finally feel good.
25yearsmlc, thanks for clarifying some of the points. I get it. Yes, GAL is needed to survive and be alright. And I totally see how hard it would be in Alaska in the winter time. This I can completely understand. I would not feel good in that kind of environment. I need the sun and day light. I just want to comment on this:
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
(and btw, I have rarely seen even a true "MLCer" spin out of control when they'd been truly happy and content in the marriage, before)
Was I a perfect wife? No. I had my issues. I worked on these issue. I’m still working on some of them. I admit my mistakes. However, when it comes to H’s unhappiness in the marriage, I just cannot take the blame. According to him, the main issue was us arguing about one thing. H thought that he was entitled to have very close relationship with women, especially single women. He could exchange inappropriate texts and pictures, he could flirt, he could invite them to the events with him, while ignoring me. Once in while I would caught him on this and confront him. So, he definitely was not happy with this kind of relationship, because he thought that he should be allowed to do what he wanted and I should just go along with it and keep my cool.
So, yes, he was unhappy, and he left… to search for a perfect woman who would be like “one of the boys”, with benefits, and also be reliable and loyal. He is still searching for this wonder woman…
pbetra, sorry for the high jack. You have great advice from the vets here. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in GAL and putting focus on yourself.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
