I'm also realizing that her trauma is tied in directly to why she feels such a strong hate toward me currently. Just as the person who had abused her as a child betrayed her trust. I, through my depression and distance and through the brief EA I had (after 2 plus years of no sex: see above for explanation on that)also betrayed her trust.
For someone who struggles tremendously with issues of trust, be it emotionally or physically, it is going to be a major uphill battle for me to get her to trust me again.
She puts up walls to protect herself under the very best of circumstances. Always has. Well these are the worst of circumstances.
Again, I'm not blameshifting. But, I thought it might be time to disclose that information about my W because I do believe it to be pertinent to not only how we got to this point but also to how to I successfully DB.
