Thank you for the sage advice. Definitely taken, appreciated and considered. :-)
I received results of my latest CT Scan - The chemo is working!!!! Yippee!! I was really worried (though I shouldn't be) that I would have to switch the chemo. I don't want them to change it cuz so far, I feel okay and don't have any of the other side effects so I was praying that it was working. However, my platelets were high and my WBC and RBC counts too low so another week of no therapy so my blood corrects itself. Just wanting this cancer to be gone and I want to be healthy!
As far as the NG/OG no worries everybody. He and I had lunch on the day he was flying back to his hm. We were light in conversation for a while until I started to get him to really think about what he wants for the future. I wasn't talking about "us" cuz that's not what's happening right now. He knows very well that I am in the middle of weirdville with H. NG and I have spoken a few times since he went back hm but nothing serious. Just friendly conversations. So y'all don't worry.
On the other hand - H - UGH!!!! Really! Breathe!
The last time I spoke to my atty - she said I wouldn't have to worry about OW cuz my atty and H atty said I don't need the stress. Well, that lasted like a nano second.
Next week my H is taking our children to the beach with OW and her children and some of their friends. My children and I feel so beaten down. H is soo persistent. It's like he just throws a tantrum and we get tired so then we give in. UGH!! UGH!! UGH!
Three of my children kinda agreed to the beach thing since they figure they really don't need to be around OW, they could just enjoy the beach. However, my youngest said no - not going. Well, I told my children that it really has to be a consensus, otherwise it's a no. But none of us want to deal with H attitude and tantrum, so our youngest is being convinced (coerced) practically everyday that this beach thing will be happening for all of them. Poor thing - really has no say. :-(
H uses our oldest child as the messenger. I said that dad should be talking to me so please let "dad" know that he needs to go through me to check dates, times, arrangements, etc.
Last week, H called and said he'd pick up the children on Sat then drive to the beach early Sun and return Mon afternoon. I asked where would our children be staying on Sat since they're not leaving til sun. H said, "they'll be staying with us." I asked "where?" H said, at OW home. (In my mind, I'm flipping out!) I said, No cuz the order says the children can't be spending the night at OW hm. I suggested my in-laws hm or H could keep children late Sat and pick up super early on Sun.
H NOT HAPPY! H says, "it's always something."
I told H that I know he cares about OW but he's not considering our children's feelings. H denied that he's not considering them. I told H that if children are upset - H get's upset. If children or I say no - H gets upset. If children uncomfortable - H gets upset. It's like we all are walking on eggshells so he won't be mad.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable. I ask my children if they are uncomfortable or whatever, to tell dad cuz if they only tell me, then it seems that I'm telling my children how to feel. Which I am not~ I just want their feelings to be considered. Especially now..with so many things going on.
H has this attitude that we should all get over it and get used to him being with OW. My children are frustrated.
Counseling is going ok. They seem to get some of the stuff off their chest but really want to know what to tell their dad when he keeps giving them a guilt trip.
UGH!!!! Right now two of my children are starting to lie - a lot small stuff but nonetheless - lie! I am frustrated that they would resort to this tactic with me. I'm on their side and yet they feel compelled to pull this junk like their dad. It hurts.
I truly hope my children can learn to deal with this...I know they'll be okay but worry about the impact of their dad's actions. Praying for their protection and healing.
Thank you for listening to my rant. And Thanks again for those beautiful thoughts, prayers and support. Y'all are amazing! A true blessing! May God protect your families and bless y'all beyond measure!
